Bride Squad

Hello and welcome all

You have been chosen to collectively arrange a Bride Squad Event to honour


and my marriage to Andrea Orrù on the 7th September 2024


Like most brides-to-be; I don’t intend to do any of the organising and will remain ignorant of plans until they are nigh.

Unlike most brides-to-be; I am providing my squad with a list of requirements to fulfil before we can consider the Bride Squad Event complete.

You will be notified of relevant terms and conditions

This is an open, creative and interpretational exercise; there are no wrong answers, ideas or suggestions.


The event is to last your choice of 1, 2 or 3 days. Dates can be arranged consecutively or singularly over the 2024 summer season. GALZ are to notify me when you know dates so I can keep them free. Ideally let’s do it before the wedding. Dates I CANNOT do as of 11th January 2024:


For the sake of all, arrangements made need only extend to a relatively minimal/not insane budget. That said, if anyone wangles something fancy and free obvs we’re doing it.


I would love to see you all during this time, if time constraints mean it can’t all be at once then partial participation is acceptable


I am prepared to feel embarrassment, bewilderment, indignity and much more. The things I’m not prepared to entertain are as follows:

• overpriced cocktails – DIY more than acceptable

• those oversized inflatable penises

• anything I’m expected to wear with the word ‘Bride’ written on it


These can last anything from 30 seconds to 2 hours | It is acceptable to combine multiple requirements within one activity | if we don’t complete every last one then I will obviously survive however the last one is a priority

In the course of our Bride Squad Event, we (at the very least, Dulcima) must do something that:

• requires a high amount of energy

• is deemed ‘classy’

• tops up our zen

• is trashy

• oversteps the line of the law OR is relatively dangerous

• I would have done when I was 8

• I would have done when I was 16

• I will probably be doing when I’m 80

• I won’t do when I’m married

• that ends single life with a bang


I hereby swear to accept and partake in all events arranged on my behalf for the Bride Squad Event, without question, complaint or judgement. I will embrace whatever itinerary is bestowed upon me regardless of the location, temperature, atmosphere, company and facilities